Here You Are.

I want to start by saying thank you for being here. Thank you for listening to all my self made commotions, and taking the time to sift through my mind.

I feel as though these past few months have come by with the speed of light not known to man. I know we know how fast light speed goes, but what I’m saying is that even faster than that.

I feel as though I needed to let you the reader know what I meant, because I don’t want you too think that I am but a fool. But aren’t we all a bit foolish though?

With all that, it has just been such a fleeting feeling.

Especially since I have been working on this post for two months now.

Earlier I wrote here how I had so many trips planned. Many of them already came and went. Which is so weird, because it feels like it hasn’t even been that long.

I went to Mexico in the beginning of May. I know right? HOT. I saw my family and it was the most grounding experience.

Took a mini vacay at the end of May to Colorado. The mountains will never seize to amaze me.

I will say my mind has been rather negative even with doing all these amazing things. You always take what you feel regardless of where you are; is what my conclusion is.

I love the life I live, but I always have this guilt for enjoying myself.

I think about the state of the world too much. All the war, famine, child trafficking, corruption in the political sense. Like christ. Think about it long enough you might feel guilty too.

If I haven’t shared already my family is Mexican. Some legal, some not, some born here, others crossed over. You know the drill.

It’s over whelming hearing people think we are bad people based on a few bad apples. Crime is rampant every where. Bad things exist at the same time good things do. It is just the way of life. But to get demonized based on the color of our skin, or for speaking our native tongue is just rotten.

Who cares?

We will be able to use each others limbs in cases of emergency because the skin color or where you are from doesn’t matter when it comes to that. We all have the same anatomy at the end of the day. Obviously there are differences, but that doesn’t make people less human. We are all just one species.

I just wish things didn’t have to be the way they are. The other thing about it is I can’t escape being scared even if I just shut my phone off. It consumes me some days. Even though my family, and the people around me tell me not to worry.

But people in my life have already been effected because of all the new immigration policies going on.

I just can’t get behind that. We give so many people chances but when someone isn’t from here and worked with nothing to get themselves to something they are demonized.

I know that they want us to be apart and hate each other but this isn’t how things should be. We shouldn’t be arguing with each other online about how things are.

We should instead come together to realize that what is happening forever now. It is a weird pattern that repeats itself. And why does it feel like it’s worse this time.

We should all be taking care of each other. How can people not see that this is not the way life is supposed to be.

I always thought it was love thy neighbor.

Here is me getting sucked in to all the bullshit. Getting irrationally angry at the fact people can’t see from our perspective. Sometimes I wish it was all just bullshit propaganda (which let’s face it, sometimes it is.)

But I can’t make people see my perspective or my family’s perspective of this world.

I can’t show you all the things we have gone through, but I am so proud of us. I’m so proud of my family, because they came here with nothing but the clothes on their back.

And they have stood before me showing me the riches of what it means to use your own two hands for something good.

I don’t wish people experiencing their families being ripped apart. I don’t ever wish the death stares or getting made fun of because you don’t speak a certain way on anyone. But what I do wish for, is peoples understanding.

We could use more of that now a days. I can’t get mad at people for making political opinions based on mere words that have held no value. The corporations, and billionaires that run the world will always have their way regardless of who you decide to lean with.

I just wish people understood that more.

I want to stop getting angry at common people for being just that. Common people.

Simple minded folk. People that are ignorant to things until it happens to them.

At the end of the day we all reap what we sow. Obviously some more than others. This is me not trying to give power into that, or feel certain ways about specific things.

I want people to know that we vote with what we purchase, on the daily. We vote with what we decide to give our energy to day to day.

I feel like collectively, we have gotten lazy in throwing tomatoes at things that no longer serve us.

I just want to be more comfortable, and not have to work to literally survive. I guess it’s comfier than having to physically hunt for berries, but at least that had more of a mental thrill. Like seeing new sights and being outside? Why would I not want todo that? That sounds delightful..

So in saying this, I think I’ll just create the most good I can for myself, and the people around me. Because I have all the tools I need to lead a better life.

I also want to not to feel guilty for living my life. That is all I can do with it really. Enjoy it while I am here and travel as much as the Earth allows. Also being more grateful, because thank God for the fact that I get to be able to complain from the comfort of my own home with a laptop I got gifted.

Like I am such a BRAT.

The conundrum of life.