Can We Sit On This ?
I’m still trying to process the feeling of being able to let things go. I’m not sure what receptor of my brain makes it so I can’t fully let go of a feeling. Thinking it has something to do with a lack of certain needs being met as a child, and me neglecting those needs as I grow. I want someone to feel my feelings for me. I hate pondering about endings. Nevertheless that is how things are. Trees’ leaves fall when they know it’s time to go.
The Beauty and Tragedy of Impermanence
It’s truly a minute-by-minute process. I hold on to the fact that my animals, my family, and my friends are not forever. I know that it’s a transitional part of life, just like the leaves. But it’s so atrocious and beautiful that this is not forever. I will miss all of this. Being able to breathe the air. Drinking water when it’s all crispy and hot out. Enjoying dinner with my family. Touching the grass with my bare body. Swimming in the water. Experiencing the seasons. Seeing amazing people, and meeting the glorious of places (yes, I meant to say it like that, think about it). The FOOD. The culture.
Everything is so wonderful. I can’t let it go. I’m not scared to die; I’m scared of not living a fulfilling life. It’s gets overwhelming at times knowing you can’t and probably won’t experience it all in one life time. It also gets overwhelming when you know there’s people in the world who aren’t as lucky as you and I.
It’s challenging when encountering others. I have to literally take things with a grain of wind. A whisper instead of a yell. I have to control how I react and make it to where it’s for my highest good. Trying to vibrate high, so that it causes a ripple of goodness. Sometimes if someone says something to me that was really negative, or hurt my feelings, or just downright offended me, I ponder on it for what seems like forever. Even when I’m not, I have moments where I lash out because I have subconsciously built up all these negative feelings.
Letting Go Of Opinions
It’s truly no one’s fault but my own either. I honestly am trying to get to a point in my life where I don’t care about what people have to say or think. Because, quite frankly, who does care? This life is temporary. WE ARE GIFTED THE ABILITY TO FEEL. Life is to be lived, and wanting to be everyone’s piece of cake is exhausting. No one can be everyone’s favorite piece of cake. It’s fucking impossible. I’m getting to a point where I care less. Doing stuff like this makes it so we can say the big things out loud.
In short stop caring; it doesn’t matter anyways. We’re all gonna die. Just be kind, do the things that make you feel whole, don’t hurt anyone, and leave the kids out of it.
